Opinion Corner:I´m short, I´m fat, My nose is too big!

Opinion Corner:I´m short, I´m fat, My nose is too big!

Joanne Phan

Reporter, South Australia Chinese Weekly

I am 21 and have been out of the raging hormones era of my teenage life for a while now.  I feel more carefree then what I did in high school.

There are no more dramas about who is dating who, no more concerns of which group I am in with to cement my social status, no more concern about what I should wear to school each day. However, the awkward age of being a teenager, doesn’t seem that far away.

Grade 9 was the final year I attended an all-girl school. At an all-girl school, I found that everyone around me was so concern with body image. Every girl would give the same compliment to each other “you’re so skinny” “oh no, I’m nowhere near as skinny as you!” and it would be a vicious circle.

Body image was definitely something that is concerning for a girl and we always pick on the tiny things, which we believe are big deals.

“I´m short, I´m fat, my nose is too big!”

In health studies, we were taught about the effects of alcohol, teen pregnancy, drug addictions, but we were never taught how to appreciate ourselves and what makes us unique. In June 2011, Mission Australia conducted their annual motional youth survey of 50,000 participates and found that the top rate concern for youth was Body Image.

Because in our heads we are told that if we don’t have these aspects in the right proportion, we won’t be happy. No one will love us. I won’t be beautiful.

Here is a tip to every guy out there reading this article:

“No matter how old a woman may be, whether she is 20 or 60. Inside she will still be the same awkward and insecure teenage girl.”

When I was 16 years old, I was an awkward glasses wearing girl with a mouth full of metal. I went to a co-education high school from grade 10-12 and grew up around some (thankfully) decent boys in high school, where I learnt how to interact and hold my own around them. I wasn’t afraid to debate with them in classes; I could joke around and tease them.  I could hold my own.

I have learnt over time and now at this age of 21, it is true what those cheesy TV dramas tell you confidence, intelligence and the ability to hold oneself in a conversation is what makes you beautiful.

In grade 5, I moved school from a co-ed primary school to an all-girl school. I came back to my old primary school to visit and I saw a group of boys that were in my grade. The group of boys walked up to me, only one actually spoke to me. I remember this moment well, he walked around me and circled around me, then asked me the question, which school was I attending?, I replied with the school I had moved to.

He stared at me and said “you’re so ugly’

That statement hurt. That really hurt, because that boy when we were in primary school I considered to be a “friend’ of mine. Boys can be very cruel.

I do believe that as you grow order you eventually grow into your face and features. What was once a big nose becomes in proportion to your face, you accept that being short gives you the advantage of wearing killer high heels and how much you weigh becomes just a number and does not define who you are or what you are capable of.

But I say this knowing full well that I was worried and paranoid all through my teenage ages about these aspects of my life.

Later in grade 12, I went to a high school party and the boy from primary school was there. Instead, things were different, I didn’t have that horrible bob haircut, I was wearing contact lenses and I didn’t have braces. He came up to me during the party and we started chatting, he asked me for my phone number.

I was surprised because it was the last things I was expecting and I replied:

“you don’t remember me do you?”

He paused and I could see in his face the moment in his brain when it clicked and he remembered me and what he had said to me many years ago and he apologised.

Body image is based on other people’s opinion and that should not be the case.

As a parent one should consider that girls take to heart what their mothers says about their bodies, their daughters, those of strangers and celebrities. Ones daughter will notice if the mother exercises obsessively, diet constantly or make derogatory comments about their own appearance. It should not be a surprise to assume that mothers are the most influential role models in regard to body image for a girl.

A father plays equally influential roles in shaping their daughters’ self-image because a daughter will learn how to relate to men by the way they interact with each other. This is why it’s critical that fathers should rethink what they say to their daughters in regard to their physical appearance. You should pause and think “what will this comment do?”

There is this great quote by the infamous Marilyn Monroe said:

“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was little, every little girl should be told they are beautiful, even if they’re not”

My advice:

Like everything else, you grow into your face, you grow into your features and when you are 21 hopefully you won’t be worried about these features as you once were.

From my experience, if you act confident and can hold your own in conversation you will wow everyone you meet.

It does sound corny and cliché, but there is a reason why you hear it so often. Because it actually works.