Opinion Corner:I´m short, I´m fat, My nose is too big!
Joanne Phan
Reporter, South Australia Chinese Weekly
I am 21 and have been out of the raging hormones era of my
teenage life for a while now. I feel
more carefree then what I did in high school.
There are no more dramas about who is dating who, no more
concerns of which group I am in with to cement my social status, no more
concern about what I should wear to school each day. However, the awkward age
of being a teenager, doesn’t seem that far away.
Grade 9 was the final year I attended an all-girl school. At
an all-girl school, I found that everyone around me was so concern with body
image. Every girl would give the same compliment to each other “you’re so
skinny” “oh no, I’m nowhere near as skinny as you!” and it would be a vicious
circle.
Body image was definitely something that is concerning for a
girl and we always pick on the tiny things, which we believe are big deals.
“I´m short, I´m fat, my nose is too big!”
In health studies, we were taught about the effects of
alcohol, teen pregnancy, drug addictions, but we were never taught how to
appreciate ourselves and what makes us unique. In June 2011, Mission Australia
conducted their annual motional youth survey of 50,000 participates and found
that the top rate concern for youth was Body Image.
Because in our heads we are told that if we don’t have these
aspects in the right proportion, we won’t be happy. No one will love us. I
won’t be beautiful.
Here is a tip to every guy out there reading this article:
“No matter how old a woman may be, whether she is 20 or 60.
Inside she will still be the same awkward and insecure teenage girl.”
When I was 16 years old, I was an awkward glasses wearing
girl with a mouth full of metal. I went to a co-education high school from
grade 10-12 and grew up around some (thankfully) decent boys in high school,
where I learnt how to interact and hold my own around them. I wasn’t afraid to
debate with them in classes; I could joke around and tease them. I could hold my own.
I have learnt over time and now at this age of 21, it is
true what those cheesy TV dramas tell you confidence, intelligence and the
ability to hold oneself in a conversation is what makes you beautiful.
In grade 5, I moved school from a co-ed primary school to an
all-girl school. I came back to my old primary school to visit and I saw a
group of boys that were in my grade. The group of boys walked up to me, only
one actually spoke to me. I remember this moment well, he walked around me and
circled around me, then asked me the question, which school was I attending?, I
replied with the school I had moved to.
He stared at me and said “you’re so ugly’
That statement hurt. That really hurt, because that boy when
we were in primary school I considered to be a “friend’ of mine. Boys can be
very cruel.
I do believe that as you grow order you eventually grow into
your face and features. What was once a big nose becomes in proportion to your
face, you accept that being short gives you the advantage of wearing killer
high heels and how much you weigh becomes just a number and does not define who
you are or what you are capable of.
But I say this knowing full well that I was worried and
paranoid all through my teenage ages about these aspects of my life.
Later in grade 12, I went to a high school party and the boy
from primary school was there. Instead, things were different, I didn’t have
that horrible bob haircut, I was wearing contact lenses and I didn’t have
braces. He came up to me during the party and we started chatting, he asked me
for my phone number.
I was surprised because it was the last things I was
expecting and I replied:
“you don’t remember me do you?”
He paused and I could see in his face the moment in his
brain when it clicked and he remembered me and what he had said to me many
years ago and he apologised.
Body image is based on other people’s opinion and that
should not be the case.
As a parent one should consider that girls take to heart
what their mothers says about their bodies, their daughters, those of strangers
and celebrities. Ones daughter will notice if the mother exercises obsessively,
diet constantly or make derogatory comments about their own appearance. It
should not be a surprise to assume that mothers are the most influential role
models in regard to body image for a girl.
A father plays equally influential roles in shaping their
daughters’ self-image because a daughter will learn how to relate to men by the
way they interact with each other. This is why it’s critical that fathers
should rethink what they say to their daughters in regard to their physical
appearance. You should pause and think “what will this comment do?”
There is this great quote by the infamous Marilyn Monroe
said:
“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was little, every
little girl should be told they are beautiful, even if they’re not”
My advice:
Like everything else, you grow into your face, you grow into
your features and when you are 21 hopefully you won’t be worried about these
features as you once were.
From my experience, if you act confident and can hold your
own in conversation you will wow everyone you meet.
It does sound corny and cliché, but there is a reason why
you hear it so often. Because it actually works.
